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Topic: Mad Music Special #232 - I'm Offended By Your Being Offended By My Offensiveness

Started by: Stavro Arrgolus

Stavro Arrgolus   Offline  -  Editor, MP3  -  06-25-19 02:22 AM  -  1 day ago

It's out of my hands now. The Consul will finish seg. 3 when he finishes it.

I've been told to get more rest, but overgrown lawns don't mow themselves and sitting here at the PC counts as 'rest'. No matter what they say. I'm putting together a 4th of July show. Just an hour, nothing spectacular. If it gets posted before the event (not likely - my back still hurts), well, it'll be there when the time comes.

Viscount Vyslo Arrgula   Offline  -  Member  -  06-23-19 04:58 PM  -  2 days ago

Greetings, all. Consul Pious here & I'm hijacking Vyslo's account for a moment.

It seems my grandson Stavro is still out of action, so I'll be presenting "seg. 3" of this show of his. ...Sometime this week, or even possibly tonight - tonight for you, that is. It's already after 2230 CEST here in San Marino, so I've got a while to sort this out. (Update: more like later in the week)

The 'segment' is supposed to be about god concepts or something. I've been (un)dead for...quite a bit longer than the others, so I imagine I'm uniquely qualified to have a go at the subject.

Stavro wants me to emphasize how much gods and belief 'suck ass'. This is all a bit silly. Unlike the rest of us, he's still alive and has no comprehension of "the afterlife", what's here and whether it sucks or not. This segment should sort the whole thing out.

After this, I'm told there'll be a "4th of July" show - whatever the hell that is. We don't have those here in Italy. And then a "Christmas in July" show. I think celebrating that pacifist's birthday by knocking the hell out of each other in large department stores gets it all wrong to begin with. And never mind that he wasn't even born in December. Now you're celebrating it twice?

I'll never understand America...

Stavro Arrgolus   Offline  -  Editor, MP3  -  06-15-19 05:24 PM  -  10 days ago

Segment 4 is the designated "perverted" segment. Dave tells me he'll be unavailable for the time being, so I'll just have to make these segments myself.

Seg. 4 may have to be put off for a while so I'll have time to make the 4th of July show.

RandomSauce   Offline  -  Member  -  06-15-19 01:14 PM  -  10 days ago
Yeah, but at least Stavro is feeling better so he will be ready to record after segment 3 to make segment 4 or whatever he feels like recording.
Viscount Vyslo Arrgula   Offline  -  Member  -  06-15-19 11:26 AM  -  10 days ago

The Consul is called this because he was a Roman for longer than he was...anything else. To this day, he lives (well, exists) in San Marino, which is inside of Italy. Which makes him immune to garlic...and cilantro...and olive oil. Popeye's not happy about that.

Even if you're undead, everybody's got to be somewhere. I'm in Germany, Count Aarhus is in Denmark, Tyro's in England, etc. The point is, young Stavro's back hurts a lot from the fall earlier in the week and the painkillers are making him 'talk out of his ass', as you Americans say - so the Consul's hosting.

Look on the bright side. The segment will be posted that much sooner this way.

---
Halfshell:

You know midnight snacks are bad for you and any alcohol are bloidthinners. 

And do you know why vampires don't like Italians? Too much garlic in their blood.

Halfshell   Offline  -  Artist  -  06-15-19 10:57 AM  -  10 days ago

You know midnight snacks are bad for you and any alcohol are bloidthinners. 

 

 

And do you know why vampires don't like Italians? Too much garlic in their blood.

Viscount Vyslo Arrgula   Offline  -  Member  -  06-15-19 10:49 AM  -  10 days ago

Segment 3 will be hosted by Consul Pious. Since the segment's a blasphemous rollercoaster about God, we thought it best to have this segment hosted by a vampire who existed for millennia before the god(s) you know even existed. This makes the ancient vampire immune to crosses & holy water, among other things.

Young Stavro thinks it'd be so much funnier (and even more blasphemous) to have someone host the segment who thinks its subject matter is all...just a bit silly.

Stavro Arrgolus   Offline  -  Editor, MP3  -  06-11-19 01:19 PM  -  14 days ago

For once, I agree with you. But both of them have day jobs and kids and/or grandkids to see to, i.e., they're not retired. Convincing either to make a segment or two was never going to be easy; that's why I didn't ask directly.

Also, both would strongly disapprove of my playlists for the segments, so they'd have to make 'opposition segments' - segments that opposed the offensiveness in this special. There's already one of these scheduled now. It's seg. 5.

It'd still be nice if they took part in the show in some way, though.

This was a bad fall I took this time and "my brain hurts", so I'm no longer confident of a July completion. Part of the point of this project was to always have something to be working on. Podcasts & even other shows are meant to be made between the segments of a special like this. Now this includes a 4th of July show. The new plan is to complete this show by Talk Like a Pirate Day (9/19).

---
RandomSauce:


I think either Dave or Wayne should host the rest of this show, since it already June, and you wanted to get this show done by July. As for you, you should get some rest that will heal your body hopefully you will be better by July.

RandomSauce   Offline  -  Member  -  06-11-19 01:01 PM  -  14 days ago

I think either Dave or Wayne should host the rest of this show, since it already June, and you wanted to get this show done by July. As for you, you should get some rest that will heal your body hopefully you will be better by July.
---
Stavro Arrgolus:

Update of the Update: All the Kings Horses & All The King's Men - Had Omelettes For Breakfast

Falls kill old people. And they've been working overtime to get me.

A few years ago, I cracked a rib in a fall. A few days ago, I tried to get out of the chair I had fallen asleep in too quickly (Ambien is a harsh mistress), lost my balance - by blacking out- and tripped on the carpet, falling over a chair and sustaining a back injury (even though I landed on my head/stomach?!) I also hit my head rather hard & now sport a huge & unsightly second-degree rug burn on my head.

Needless to say, this doesn't exactly aid show production. I was ordered to get rest by my doctors and was doing exactly that when all this happened. If anyone missed it, this is the opposite of rest.

If Dave is in the mood to, this would be a good time to guest host a half hour Mad Music Moment. If not, this show's next segment is going to take a while since the doctor mandated bed rest from last week is now in 'injury recovery' overtime.
Stavro Arrgolus   Offline  -  Editor, MP3  -  06-11-19 11:11 AM  -  14 days ago

Update of the Update: All the Kings Horses & All The King's Men - Had Omelettes For Breakfast

Falls kill old people. And they've been working overtime to get me.

A few years ago, I cracked a rib in a fall. A few days ago, I tried to get out of the chair I had fallen asleep in too quickly (Ambien is a harsh mistress), lost my balance - by blacking out- and tripped on the carpet, falling over a chair and sustaining a back injury (even though I landed on my head/stomach?!) I also hit my head rather hard & now sport a huge & unsightly second-degree rug burn on my head.

Needless to say, this doesn't exactly aid show production. I was ordered to get rest by my doctors and was doing exactly that when all this happened. If anyone missed it, this is the opposite of rest.

If Dave is in the mood to, this would be a good time to guest host a half hour Mad Music Moment. If not, this show's next segment is going to take a while since the doctor mandated bed rest from last week is now in 'injury recovery' overtime.
Stavro Arrgolus   Offline  -  Editor, MP3  -  06-06-19 08:43 PM  -  19 days ago

“Curiously enough, the only thing that went through the mind of the bowl of petunias as it fell was Oh no, not again. Many people have speculated that if we knew exactly why the bowl of petunias had thought that we would know a lot more about the nature of the Universe than we do now.”

Once again, this week's hospital visit/checkup has resulted in the same instruction. "You need bed rest. Go home. Go to bed. Stay there."

Why does someone who never does anything need rest? All I do is sit at this PC all day...and get some walking in - a mile a day...and lift some hand weights. Besides all the gardening, that's all I do. I can still shout bad language into a crappy microphone & make internet shows. "No, you can't; that doesn't count as bed rest" they tell me.

Picky bastards. Oh, well. This show will resume when the doctors are satisfied I've had enough "rest." Cthulhu knows they check up on me enough.

Stavro Arrgolus   Offline  -  Editor, MP3  -  06-02-19 09:32 AM  -  23 days ago

I finished the playlist & script of the aforementioned new podcast...and it turned out too similar to the last one - even though I'm hosting & not Tyro. I don't tolerate back to back identical shows unless it's Xmas or something, so it'll have to have its script radically altered.

All that will take too much time, so segment 3 of this show will be next, then the podcast.

It may take a while. I have a hospital visit this week (just one), the damn vines are trying to swallow my house again, the bastard bushes I didn't plant are trying to block the view from my windows (landscapers cost a fortune around here) - and I have to repair & paint the shed or I'll suddenly become "No-Sheds Stavro."

In short, I have a busy week ahead, so I'll say what I always do; this will get done when it gets done.

Stavro Arrgolus   Offline  -  Editor, MP3  -  05-22-19 06:56 AM  -  1 month ago

New podcast it is then!

MMP-56 - Sakurairo no Kisetsu  (Cherry Blossom Color Season)

This isn't the final title. It's just a placeholder until I come up with a proper snarky title.

---
Dave AuJus:

A New Podcast please!

Dave AuJus   Offline  -  Artist & D.J.  -  05-21-19 01:38 PM  -  1 month ago
A New Podcast please!

---
Stavro Arrgolus:

Now that the toilet humor is out of the way, it's time for seg. 3. I've said this segment about God is supposed to be horribly blasphemous, but looking at it as it is now, it's not all that bad. It's not even about organized religion, just God. This clearly means I need to work on it more. Expect it in the usual week or 2.

Or not. Maybe a podcast should be next. After segments about child death and big, steaming piles of number 2, this might be a good time to take a break from the vulgar and get a new podcast in.

Stavro Arrgolus   Offline  -  Editor, MP3  -  05-21-19 11:59 AM  -  1 month ago

Now that the toilet humor is out of the way, it's time for seg. 3. I've said this segment about God is supposed to be horribly blasphemous, but looking at it as it is now, it's not all that bad. It's not even about organized religion, just God. This clearly means I need to work on it more. Expect it in the usual week or 2.

Or not. Maybe a podcast should be next. After segments about child death and big, steaming piles of number 2, this might be a good time to take a break from the vulgar and get a new podcast in.

Stavro Arrgolus   Offline  -  Editor, MP3  -  05-21-19 12:13 AM  -  1 month ago

Here are the first 2 segments - www.madmusic.com/playlist.aspx?Show=MMS-232

And try not to take my rant about...a certain place too seriously. I just want turd-free medicine (that'll make sense when you hear the segment); I'm not demanding the moon here.

Fun fact: Scripting a show isn't merely typing out the text because I can't ad lib to save my ass. It's also choosing the bgm, adding mind screws (the fun part) and sfx to make it all a bit less dull.

It takes a while to choose sfx & arrange it all just the way I want it, but you need only listen to the old shows from 2012 to see how much better it all is now.
Viscount Vyslo Arrgula   Offline  -  Member  -  05-15-19 05:43 AM  -  1 month ago

Privyet. I just looked in on this and thought, "He's finally gone and done it."

Last Christmas, we brought Stavro here to Eisenach for a few days to give him a bit of a scenery change - the castle & town are far more picturesque than where he is, especially during the holidays. I remember him telling Tyro that he no longer had the energy to make whole 2 hour shows all at once, so he'd play what he called "the long game." ..Must be an Americanism of some kind.

He'd make many 2 hour shows one segment at a time with no plan on a completion date for any of them. While this was going on, he'd post shorter shows & podcasts while the longer shows were still being made. This would confuse the hell out of everyone, which he takes sadistic amusement in doing, it would seem. Doing this meant that something would always be in production.

He's clearly following through on this plan now, so don't hold your breath for segments. What gets posted may not even be what's scheduled. Hope he's having fun with all this for a change.

Tyro Arrgula   Offline  -  Editor  -  05-12-19 01:43 AM  -  1 month ago

Time for another segment update.

This week, after 4 tiring days of effort, Uncle Stavro "defeated the arboreal menace", as he calls it. We call it "doing the garden" here in Britain and you Yanks call it "yard work." He has more than an acre to deal with, so it wears him out.

I had to sit and watch...because vampires + sunlight = dust. He's still tired from the effort. Though not so tired that he didn't finish the seg. 2 & 3 playlists, apparently. But too tired to script them. "Can't be exhausted & write decent scripts", he said. So he assembled playlists instead.

Even if he posts a segment every other week, the show will still be completed in July. "Quality over quantity." Though he doesn't care when he completes it since there's no rule saying he can't make a 'Xmas in July' show while this show is still going on. There's already a plan to make a podcast between segments of MMS-232, so...

Just a reminder - Seg. 2 is about "sh!t" and seg. 3 is about blasphemy "God." Uncle says this is the most offensive combination he could think of, and offensiveness is what this show's about.

Stavro Arrgolus   Offline  -  Editor, MP3  -  05-03-19 03:31 AM  -  1 month ago

Thought I'd never finish that segment. And now for segment 2.

This one's just as bad since there are so many songs about the subject. Like seg. 1, I have to choose the best songs from a huge number of tunes about that special substance. And that substance is, well...sh!t.

I don't mean the word; I mean the actual...stuff. George Carlin once said that no one ever talks about it literally; it's always figuratively. No one says, "Look at the sh!t, Martha. Little piles of..." - you get the idea. The good news is that this segment won't be nearly as vicious as seg. 1 was.

Expect it sometime around the weekend next week. If life interferes again, it'll take longer, but it'll still get made.

Stavro Arrgolus   Offline  -  Editor, MP3  -  05-02-19 04:44 AM  -  1 month ago

Here's segment 1 - www.madmusic.com/playlist.aspx?Show=MMS-232

And I'm not kidding. This show may very likely take until July to complete. There may even be a new podcast or two posted between segment releases of this show.

Stavro Arrgolus   Offline  -  Editor, MP3  -  04-23-19 04:28 PM  -  2 months ago

Hoo, boy. This morning just before 5 am, I finished formatting the script and writing its opening sequence and this is clearly going to be one of those kind of shows. The kind that make the needlessly sensitive and crazy-ass SJWs (wait - those two are the same thing, aren't they?) run screaming from the room with vomit rising in their throats. If a show is going to make sanctimonious activists toss their cookies, you know it's going to be a good one.

This is clearly another show you should wear headphones and/or chase the kids from the room with a baseball bat with nails in it to listen to - especially when the very first segment is about eviscerating kids.

I've made too many shows like this not to know that the vampires aren't going to let me get away with it. They'll break in and demand the smutty filth cease for a bit. Probably with a request segment. I don't have enough new requests to make a whole request show, but I do have enough to make a segment.

...Bugger. Another new segment. This show really is going to take until July to make, isn't it?

This may be another one of those shows that writes itself. The ultimate goal is for this show to have a minimum of 6/7 half-hour segments and even more if I think of even better topics to offend the easily offended with. Since today's culture (if you can even call it that anymore) is offended by everything, this is an easy task.

Here are some early ideas for the later segment themes:

Seg. 2: Wipe The Butt Clean With The Paper  (toilet humor)

Seg. 3: Well, That About Wraps It Up For God  (a HHGttG reference - and blasphemous as hell)

Seg. 4: I Stroke It Every Chance I Get, It's... (It's perverted & sticky; that's what it is)

Seg. 5: Right! Stop That! It's Filth! I'm not taking chances. I just know that Celestra or Count Aarhus aren't going to tolerate all the hysterically disgusting things I've stuffed this show full of. They'll show up in a whopping great puff of vampiric mist, hijack the show and play a clean segment out of sheer umbrage. I'd better write this clean request segment just in case so this segment is made on my terms.

Seg. 6: Ok, Now That's Just Sick!  (A special segment for everything too disgusting to fit into one of the other segments - it should be immediate revenge for the vampire's clean segment, assuming they show up and there is one to begin with)

Seg. 7: Death Isn't The Handicap It Used To Be  (self explanatory - also a line from Red Dwarf)

All titles are subject to change or rearrangement. I'll likely think of something even more horrifying to call them at some point in the production. Assuming I can actually manage to make 7 segments. A July completion is starting to look a bit too optimistic...


Stavro Arrgolus   Offline  -  Editor, MP3  -  04-18-19 04:34 AM  -  2 months ago

Ok, I'm back from Europe (don't tell Disney they have real castles there and they're NOT made of plastic) and I've sorted out the first segment of a 3+ hour special that's invariably going to have something to offend everyone, hence the title. Expect seg. 1 late next week, if not sooner.

Seg 1. Kiddie Kill  (aka Mommy-Not, Fetus Fail, Poppa Stopper, Womb Broom)

The title is a phrase from a favorite source - George Carlin. It's very much about what you're thinking. Lots of happy, bouncy tunes about rugrats being disemboweled by wild animals and some other non-death related cringeworthy kid-related tuneage. Fun! And there's so much of it in the archive. I could make a whole show about just this...but I won't. Not yet, anyway.

Yes, if you want your show heard, you really need something that grabs their attention right away. And if this doesn't, nothing else will. It might be a good idea not to eat a big meal before listening to this. Just a thought. 

Stavro Arrgolus   Offline  -  Editor, MP3  -  03-31-19 12:37 AM  -  2 months ago

Tyro's podcast sat completed a bit too long, so he changed the playlist a bit to make it more current. It'll be recorded & posted by Monday if the mic cooperates & doesn't ruin the announces with crackling. If not, it'll take a bit longer.

Meanwhile, this show will never require updating. It's said that my shows are NSFW. I'll show you what NSFW is really about. You won't be able to run screaming from the room because your throat will already be full of vomit. "My throat's full of puke and I must scream."  That sort of thing.

Basically, this is meant to be the most disgusting/squicky/offensive show ever. By its nature, it has a built in challenge to me to make something even more horrifying in the future. It's one of those 'laugh now, feel guilty about laughing later' sort of shows.

In short, it's going to be an immense amount of fun to make.

I originally wanted to make a request show after the podcast, but I quickly realized I couldn't as all the requests on the admin menu's main request page were several years old (the requesters are long gone from the site and wouldn't hear them) and there weren't enough newer ones to fill a show. Not even a half hour show. So it'll have to wait.

This is one of those shows that writes itself, so it won't take long to make the playlist. You can request songs for it - but only if you've got a really sick mind. Only the nastiest comedy is going into this one and only the most objectionable tunes will even be considered for it.

Now here's the important part. This episode is likely to go from an hour to two...and possibly three or even four. It could easily take the remainder of spring to make it. Why? Because I'm going to take a great deal of sadistic pleasure in making it. It might even be more fun than making a Xmas show. ...Well let's not go overboard here.


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