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Song Details
Rank this week: 44 (↑18)
Duration: 3:14 
Release Date: 7/26/2009  (DJ Particle) 
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Facts:
  • Debuted at #4 on the Mad Music Dementia Top 20 on August 7, 2009. It was the highest-ranking song of his in his first ever appearance on the DT20. (Kobi LaCroix)
  • Style parody of Blood, Sweat, and Tears (Kobi LaCroix)
  • Song Lyrics:
    You may have grappled with the handlebar, you may have taken out the Fu Manchu
    But they don't come within a mile of the carpeted smile that I wear
    Rugged as a bear on an ATV, and like a hedge impeccably pruned
    Oozin' unmistakable butchness out of every hair
    Got a Tom Selleck mammoth sittin' on my lip
    Like a freaky fuzzy fully loaded battleship
    Shootin' sex torpedoes that'll make your foundation shake
    Girl, there ain't nothin' you can push that my manular bush can't take

    So baby won't you brush up your body against all the lovin' of my facial hair?
    Take advantage of your sense of touch when it's too dark to see
    Baby don't nothin' get too intense for all the lovin' of my facial hair
    Let's get freaky follicly
    Get that razor away from me!

    Allow me to explain in further detail…

    When you're lonely and you're feelin' cold, don't you know I'll be there in a flash
    I'll be comin' straight and true and all you have to do is whistle
    And I'll know just where you are, 'cause I got sonar and GPS installed in my mustache
    And I will wrap you and protect you in a forest of my manly bristle
    I'm always ready for the day 'cause while I'm takin' a snooze
    My beard is up and makin' coffee readin' Yahoo! News
    Usin' volumizin' lotion so it's thick enough to stick things in
    How many guys you know play tennis with a racket stickin' out of their chin?

    So baby won't you brush up your body against all the lovin' of my facial hair?
    Take a ride across the prairie that's the hairiest that hairy can be
    Baby nothin' in the world gets too intense for all the lovin' of my facial hair
    Let's go frolic follicly
    No, seriously.

    Adolf Hitler, Josef Stalin, and Saddam Hussein
    They're all burnin' in hell, but their 'staches all went to heaven
    And then I heard they shaved off Einstein's and saved it along with his genius brain
    And now it's owned by a Pakistani cashier at 7-11
    And my beard keeps growin' like a bumper crop
    If it was slightly longer I could play for ZZ Top
    My eyebrows write for Esquire and my sideburns both have PhD's
    I'm afraid my facial hair might be a tiny smidgen smarter than me

    So baby won't you brush up your body against all the lovin' of my facial hair?
    Take advantage of your sense of touch when it's too dark to see
    Baby don't nothin' get too intense for all the lovin' of my facial hair
    Let's get freaky follicly.

    Give my regards to Barbasol!
    (Kobi LaCroix)
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    Current Rating 9.9 (3 votes)
    Song Images:
    Messages about the song: "Facial Hair"
     
     
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    Song samples are provided for information purposes only and are intended to enable the users to sample the music (as they are in very low quality) before they take the decision of purchasing the music. This right is expressly permitted under "Fair Use" as nonprofit educational purposes only. The ownership of the copyright of the songs rests with the respective owners.

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