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Song Details
Rank this week: 59
Duration: 9:37 (belowaveragedave) 
Release Date: 3/30/2008  (belowaveragedave) 
Lyrics By: Below Average Dave (belowaveragedave) 
Music By:
Produced By:
Released By:
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Facts:
  • Parody of Bat Out of Hell by Meatloaf (belowaveragedave)
  • Song Lyrics:
    A car is approaching
    and my sanity's slipping
    way down in the gutter tonight
    There's a dude in the bedroom
    with his hands on your hips
    and a toy moving near your thighs
    There's ten calls that I missed
    and a lover on the line
    Oh and out in the bright moon light
    there's someone with their clothes off
    I swear they are waiting for you to join them out in the pool
    I am starting to steam as I weep

    Oh baby you're the only girl in this whole town
    Who slept with me so tight
    and Whoever you do and whoever you booze
    I'll never really feel alright
    But you gotta get out
    I gotta break it off now
    Before the divorce is drawn
    Yes I'm gonna leave the house of our dreams made together
    When you're done with your blow
    I'll still be shutting down

    Like a con I will bail
    I'll be free when you come around
    When the hook-ups are over
    With a shred of denial
    I'll be on my own
    I can live by myself
    I'll be lone but I'll endure on
    When the feeling's gone
    and my sphincter's grown
    and depression has resumed
    Then like a Christian before a grave confession
    realize what I've got to do

    I'm gonna go to nightclubs like the stud that I am
    wearing purple, pink and some lights
    When the music is pop
    and the D.J. is groovin'
    and we're broke-back all through the night
    No-One ever talks in this secret chateau
    Everybody is bi-curious
    and Nothing really knows
    which cheap trick they chose
    and Nobody is worth the cost

    and I know that'll get her if I bring home a dude
    and She'll see what she's missing too
    'cause every other girl I've got left in my phone
    has told me that I'm crazy too

    If she's gonna creep out you know I'm gonna creep out
    Bromance in the living room
    If she's still going down you know I've gotta go down
    Wanna go round you know I'll get her back now
    She's going down, you know I gotta go down
    Prancing in her room
    Dancing to some tunes
    Winning her heart back from goons

    Oh baby you're the only girl in this whole Earth
    that's ever lit up my life
    and wherever you leave and whoever you call
    There's always gonna be a fight
    but I gotta get back
    I gotta get you back now
    So I won't give on you hun
    Yes I've gotta make the most of this plan put together
    When it's finished I hope
    I won't be so alone

    Like a cat claws unveiled
    I'll be back when the weekend comes
    When the game is over
    Like a girl who's alone
    You'll feel so dethroned
    Like your world has come down
    I'll be back when the weekend comes
    and when the work is done and Monday dawns
    and your love has come back through
    Then like a traitor before the game of our life
    I'll come running on back to you

    Then like a traitor before the game of our life
    I'll come running on back to you

    I see the Lexus in the small garage
    But I'll still prove that you belong with me
    and this guy is near with no shirt that's right!
    No-ones gonna stop me now
    I'm gonna plea my whole case
    and you will stop thinking of Stu
    I didn't see the sudden curve until it's way too late

    I never thought I'd live to see this day

    I entered into your room in the dimming light
    Shocked and listened at the door of your secret plight
    I think back now I always knew it was your best pal
    and the next thing I see is your eyes
    They're shinning
    Breaking out from the mold
    and into her arms
    Like a fool I've been wrong

    Then I'm crying at the bottom of the steps as I look upon (so sorry)
    I insisted I was sorry in quite a rapid tone (forgive me)
    and I asked her to pinch me as I held her near my heart
    and the last thing I see is her cheeks
    She's crying, She's crying
    Breaking out of my shell and said it's Okay!!!

    HEY!

    She loved chics all the while (she's not into dongs)
    It's just girls make her smile (she's not into dongs)
    Like a jerk I was vile (she's not into dongs)

    Now I keep her speed dial

    She loved chics all the while

    She loved chics all the while
    (belowaveragedave)
    HyperLink  
    Current Rating 0.0 (0 votes)
    Played on 3 shows:
    08-09-09, #BAD_08-09-0911-04-08, #BAD_08-11-04
    06-27-09, #ROTP_253
    = Show you can listen to online
    Song Images:
    Messages about the song: "Wife's Secret Tale"
     
     
    belowaveragedave   Offline  -  Artist & D.J.  -  06-24-09 01:48 PM  -  10 years ago
    fiogf49gjkf0d
    I'm going to have to start putting the original release dates in:) I'll get you the actual full dates later today DJP (of this and Magic Man), I've got so many that were never posted to The FUMP, and am trying to get them caught up in between new releases--it's hard--but then I forget about them here until I do my show. . .the next Fump is a new release. . .
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