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Song Details
Getting Old Sucks 
By: Sudden Death
Play Song (Creative Commons License):
Click Here for a Free Download of this song at 128k
Rank this week: 72 (↑33)
Duration: 3:56 
Release Date: 7/20/2007  (Stavro Arrgolus) 
Lyrics By: T. Rockwell/T. Uliasz (Stavro Arrgolus) 
Music By: T. Rockwell/T. Uliasz (Stavro Arrgolus) 
Produced By: Tom Rockwell (Stavro Arrgolus) 
Released By: FIDIM Interactive, LLC (Stavro Arrgolus) 
Published By: FIDIM Publishing (Stavro Arrgolus) 
Licensing: CC 
Keywords: AGING, DEAF, GIRLS GONE WILD, MICHAEL JACKSON, OLD, SNORKS, SOLID GOLD DANCERS, YODA 
Reviews:
I think I identify with this song a little too much. It's an accurate (too accurate) description of my daily routine. Especially the part about pulling a muscle while tying your shoe. I love the 'old fashioned' backbeat on this and the 'Victrola' opening. 'Course when I was a boy, we didn't have those fancy schmancy 'video games'. All we had were Davy Crockett, droodles and chlorophyll toothpaste. That's the way it was and we liked it!- Stavro Arrgolus
This song is excellent and too true. And Stavro was lucky to have toothpaste. We brushed our teeth with tree bark. And we were happy.....- peterpuck9
Facts:
  • Background vocals: T. Uliasz, L. Sienkowski (Stavro Arrgolus)
  • Song Lyrics:
    It really sucks to get old, or so I was told
    When I was growing up, now I'm watching it unfold
    As I'm showing up for work where I have a broken chair
    And some carpel tunnel syndrome from too much solitaire
    I remember a time not long ago
    When my hair was growing thicker on my head than in my nose
    And my toes didn't have any hair or weird dents
    Now I'm poppin' Rolaids from a Pez dispenser
    Everything hurts, or makes a funny noise
    And now I have to pay for all of my own toys
    And I avoid any physical exertion, I'm amazed
    That the simplest tasks leave me sore for days
    My prospects for walking get a little bit bleaker
    As my butt gets larger and my knees get weaker
    And I hate to admit it but it's true
    I pulled a muscle in my back while I was tying my shoe

    Damn, it sucks to get old (huh?)
    Damn, it sucks to get old (say what?)
    Damn, it sucks to get old (huh?)
    Damn, it sucks to get old (what?)

    "Ahh..I have no idea what he's saying. I can't understand him one bit. Can you?"
    "No, I can't stand him either."

    You know you're getting old and things'll never be the same
    The day a little kid beats you in a video game
    How they remember the moves and the combos and quirks
    I'll never know, but hey, I remember the Snorks
    When I was a kid we didn't have the internet
    Which of course made porn a lot harder to get
    And our cars didn't have GPS; we had a mess
    Of a map that you couldn't refold for crap
    I used to stay out late on a date, get drunk
    As a skunk, stumble home, get up and feel great
    Now, I'm home by eight to watch MacGyver
    And the only thing I'm drinking is for supplemental fiber
    Back then I would pretend I was Captain Kirk
    Now I have a desk and I pretend to work
    I don't wanna be a kid again or even twenty-four again
    But it would be nice if I could get up off the floor again

    Damn, it sucks to get old (uh-huh)
    Damn, it sucks to get old (yep)
    Damn, it sucks to get old (uh-huh)
    Damn, it sucks to get old (yep)

    "Oh, so you can understand him now?"
    "No, I'm just pretending to listen. Like I do with my wife."

    "Back when I was a teenager, girls didn't go around shaking their booty and showing their boobs. There was no Girls Gone Wild. Oh God, I'm depressed."

    "Back when I was a boy, video games only cost a quarter. And all you were was a dot who ate other dots."

    You begin to forget things like
    Who you are, where you are, why you're where you are
    How'd you get to where you are
    and where the hell'd you park the car
    And if you walk too far, will you need some CPR?
    How'd your life get so bizarre and how the hell'd you get that scar
    Your life becomes filled with more questions than answers
    Like what happened to the Solid Gold dancers?
    Should I get checked for cancer? Do you know where
    my pants are? And what the hell's a "male enhancer?"
    I don't need fashion tips from gay men
    'Cause finally some of my clothes are back in style again
    So now I just need to be a little more svelte
    And get rid of this gut that's hanging over my belt
    I'm checking out the hottie in the checkout line
    Her name is Melanie, but it's a felony for what I have in mind
    That's a plan that I don't understand
    How a thirty-something turns into a dirty old man, but
    The worst feeling is the day you realize
    Our elected officials are just spewing real lies
    One is pure evil so you can't vote for him
    But the other one couldn't teach a duck to swim

    Damn, it sucks to get old (uh-huh)
    Damn, it sucks to get old (yep)
    Damn, it sucks to get old (uh-huh)
    Damn, it sucks to get old (yep)

    "Back in my day, Michael Jackson went on dates with Brooke Shields, and he made the most fantastical music. He was the King of Pop, I tells ya!"

    "In my day, Yoda was a puppet."
    (Stavro Arrgolus)
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    Current Rating 9.7 (9 votes)
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